Rednecks on a Roadtrip


I love seeing this kind of stuff on the side of the road.  I'm pretty impressed the sign is still legible at 60mph driving by.  How many have fallen off the dinosaur to warrant putting up the sign?

These sorts of adventures start out with all the enthusiasm in the world.  The jokes and the stories between long-time friends start right away.  The magnitude of the trip starts to sink in going through New Mexico. The jokes and the stories get a little dirtier to keep the momentum going.  There's a belief that something magical will happen at night which will suddenly transport us to our destination.  “Son of a bitch must pay!”~Jack Burton.  Turns out that the Son's of…were us.

We had this great idea to take pictures of the state road-signs along the way crossing into each state.  Problem 1: We weren't about to stop at each state crossing to snap a picture with the flash at night.  Problem 2: We were over it by Missouri.
Now this is the sort of hilarious stuff I knew would make for a good story.  I thought I would just find some glow in the dark condom dispensers in the restrooms but this was so much better.  The phone number was blocked out because I didn't want to interfere with keeping people happy on the road.

They say everything in Texas is big.  In my brief experience with the state I've found that statement to be true.  Even the pan handle is a beast of a drive.  We pass through it at night.  Frank decides to take a nap through Oklahoma.  There're a series of toll roads going through I-44 we decide to take.  The automated toll booth thinks our single axle trailer is a double axle and fires off an alarm as I drive through.  That should be an awesome ticket.  I contemplate not telling Frank about it.  I pop a 5-hour energy and press on through the dark flat state of Oklahoma.

We called this pulling the trigger.  Once the trigger is pulled you've got a couple hours before the inevitable coma sets in.

We fuel up in El Reno, OK and I head over to the passenger seat but decide to stay awake.  I was feeling pretty good.  Maybe it was the strange brew of 5 hour energy?  Maybe it was because we were more than half way through our drive?  Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad drive after all?  As a passenger on a trip like this there's a fear the driver will fall asleep and you'll both never wake up.  The drive through Oklahoma seemed much longer than the previous states.  Getting to the Missouri state line seemed to take forever.  After sunrise I took my chances and napped.

The Missouri state sign is not nearly as glorious and in your face as New Mexico.  Ironic considering it's the show me state.
After 18+ hours in the truck you start to fool yourself into thinking the sunrise will help you feel better.  It does; for a little while.
I was woken to discover we were in traffic due to an accident.  No surprise on who's going to win the battle between an SUV and a big rig.

After a crusty wipe of the eyes I discover we aren't moving that fast.  We've been in traffic for the last half hour.  When we reach the accident there's no blood visible but the vehicle is so badly damaged it's hard to believe someone didn't get seriously hurt.  We press on and Missouri seems to drag on and on.  Finally, we reach Pappy's Smokehouse in St. Louis.



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